My Gavel Hand

Running blind and out of breath

But in the wrong direction

I don't recall or recognize

My own reflection

Locked myself in a cell I can't breach

My key to sovereignty lies just out of reach

Can't set myself free:

Can't seem to keep down my last meal

Can't turn back the hand I deal

Feel like I'm caught in foreign land

Exiled by my gavel hand

A rat in a cage

I'm spinning the wheel

But getting nowhere

The gallows -- my stage

I'm seen by all

Performing to no one

This could have been my finest day

A drug that expends me; the price that I pay

Can't throw it away:

Can't seem to keep down my last meal

Can't turn back the hand I deal

Feel like I'm caught in foreign land

Exiled by my gavel hand

The cage that I'm in is formed

From my own design:

No way out that I can tell

Stay here forever trapped

Inside my own mind:

I know every corner so well

And I fear that when I finally find the will

The atrophy will keep me lying still

But I'm tired of the darkness

And I'm tired of the smell

But I'm torn; I don't know anything else

And I'm tired of the nighttime

And I long for the day

But I'm torn; I don't know another way

Running blind, out of breath

Spinning the wheel

But getting nowhere: